Does love even exist?
Bleugh.
Boys smell.
(To not seem sexist, it’s fair to also suggest that not all girls are sweet smelling by nature.)
Hm. I took this quiz once, and it told me that I was *truly, deeply, and completely in love*- all because I said I’d still want to be friends even if they didn’t share my desire for something more.
How bizarre human emotion is.
You know, I never even believed in True Love until recently; it always struck me as being this fantasy dreamt up by ladies trapped in towers, bored out of their minds, or by poets whose sole reason for being was to find a raison d’être in what was once a flat world. Don’t get me wrong, I would have totally done the same thing had I been in their situation. Except maybe something cooler, like feeling threatened by aliens, or, better yet, certifiably insane Russian gypsies. Actually, they probably existed back then.
PIXIES ARE GOING TO MURDER US ALL.
They could SO be real, if only our economic-comfort seeking, supposedly logic-based minds allowed them to.
Just kidding. I’m not crazy.
But here I go again, dwindling between my admittedly hopeful, romantic side and my cynical, humanity-resenting other side as to whether this phenomenon is a part of reality. What do you think? (I so rarely ask anyone else’s opinion, so please, speak now or forever hold your peace:D)
I’d like to own a restaurant called Circuz. And it could have dancing Russian gypsies as waitresses.
Let’s get Sirius. The day I started questioning the existence of love, I also began to wonder if emotions (mainly happiness, because sadness often feels so real- I wonder why that is) were actually real as well. Because, isn’t it true that the mind can be tricked into thinking or feeling things? I think I have psychology on my side here, or maybe I’m just making this up, but I think it’s called conditioning. Who said Ms Bereza was a bad teacher? I clearly learnt.
Where is this rambling going? So I guess I’ve established that love is a confusing topic and my head is running in circles around it trying to understand it, but I doubt I ever will.
I think I’d be happy if someone could just define love for me; just put it in a little square box that I could doodle hearts and flowers around and write the name of my beloved (oh, if only he existed!). That’s not going to happen; I reckon the fortunate ones among us don’t over think love, they just embrace it and give it everything they have when they think they have it. As a chronic over thinker with severe trust issues, I don’t know if this would even be possible, no matter how much I wish upon a star for it. Seriously, when I see a falling star, this is what I hope for, because all I want in life is to be happy, and it seems that love, for the inherently social creature that I am, is the only path to reaching it.
But then I got to thinking. (And this was actually why I started writing this post, I don’t know how I got so off track- it must have been those gosh darn awful pixies again.) Do we fall for the person we want to see? Like in 500 Days of Summer, Tom refused to see the bad bits of Summer, and then his little sister brought him back to reality, thereby making her the most awesome character. Often times we see only that which we want to see, bringing me back to something I said earlier. Is love a conscious action of the mind? Some wise person/ bullshitting idiot once fed me the line- “We cannot choose who we love, only how we love,” (this was totally out of context and completely irrelevant to the discussion- sigh) but I can’t help but think that this quote speaks the truth. That is, if love is real, of course.
I’m tired.
In other news, I bought a Russian phrase book at the lovely place also known as Borders on the weekend. Needless to say, I’ll spend more time speaking to the Indo locals in Russian than Indonesian when I go on exchange in a week and a half.
Also, my room is messy.
Those devilish pixies.
<3 – my love from me to you; now everybody say “awwww!” like you attend a private all girls’ school.
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