PENIS

Life as we know it is not a peach,
It is neither an apple, nor a cup of tea.
Words rush by as birds fly too fast for mere humans;
clocks strangle the obese from the thin
and we all simply smile,
ignorantly
content. Yelling will not liberate you here.
There is a time for peace and a time for war but hush,
Father is unhearing our sorrows. Blood flows freely so
strive not for golden stars-
hoard your coins now for ugly curtains once you've outgrown Peter and
let him instead flicker by the light of the lamp.
Let the darkness creep in
embrace it nakedly
dance in it
pain.
As ducks potter tenderly around our feet we muse
What are their lives worth?
But if everything and nothing and something mingled and the world spun
Perhaps then we'd be dazed; let us awake.
Let us awake.

So there's this guy. He's pretty amazing and I'm so confused and worried because I think I like him too much.
Ta-da! Remaja gadis crap over with! Maybe. Maybe not. I'm also confused about why I'm so happy. Why?
Why, Lord, why? Don't scare me like this. That saying about how smiling scares other people, I think it's somewhat relevant here. Except the only time smiling scares me is when it's on my own face. It does make for efficient time use though. I don't know. Should I be worried?
Hmm. I made a vegan cake today. It's a marble cake and it's 6 different vibrant colours. It looks oh so pretty on my kitchen bench top. AND I HAS FLOWERS IN MY ROOM NOW THANKS TO THE LOVELY NICK! Lilies! They're the flower of death, apparently, but they're so nice! And as some people argue, the theme of death is quite ah suitable in my room. Because I'm emo like that.
I'm going to learn to play guitar. And I'm going to get two bins to put in my room and decorate them according to their use- one for recycling and one for just plain old rubbish. And then I'm going to put up one giant Indonesian word on my ceiling which will say SEMANGAT which means, literally, spirit, and every time I see it I'll be reminded of Indonesia and Indonesian people and how I really need to get 98.4 to be happy at the end of this year.
TO CERTAIN PEOPLE. I want to tell you to be happy, but I know it's not that easy and I'm just going to sound like a hypocrite because I hate when people say that to me when I'm down. But seriously.

P.S. I'm too much of a coward to take credit for the title, so just blame it on Jeremy. And sorry for using your actual name here, Jeremy.