I miss Christmas. I don't even know why, because it seems whenever it rolls around (which is the same time every year- now that's a freaky coincidence)I can't wait for it to be over. Mainly because it means spending time pretending to like the gazillion relatives I'm unfortunate enough to have. No, that's horrible. I like my grandfather.
I miss church too. Don't tell anyone; I'm supposed to be a hard core agnostic or something. I don't know, but I can't stand the idea of atheism, and I kind of get mad whenever anyone suggests I become part of it. It's just.... atheism, to me, basically represents intolerance. Besides which, we are only humans. Who are we to say that just because there's no evidence of any God none exist at all? PLUS we are only capable of using 10% of our brain's capacity. Maybe we just haven't looked hard enough for the evidence, or maybe we're just too dumb to notice it sitting right in front of us.
The priest of the church I used to go to claims evidence of God is all around us. Just look at nature- he taught us to see Earth's nature for the magical phenomenon that it is. I think the main thing I got from church was gratitude, and it actually feels like that virtue is slipping away from me every day I claim not to believe in God. But to say I do believe is also a lie. What is this? I'm stuck between beliefs and while it seems most people around me and my mind are pulling me towards atheism, the inner part of me pulls me to faith.
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