Sometimes I have to hold myself back

from saying things to people that I so want to say but can't for fear that I'll stuff up the relationship because I'll freak them out with how much I rely on them to keep me, well, me. I feel like I should just dive in and be completely open and honest, because I'm not talking along the lines of if you can't be nice, don't say anything at all thread, no, no, I just want people to know how much they mean to me. It's strange to think what kind of person I'd be if I hadn't become friends with the people I have, or even who I'd be if the relationships hadn't developed the ways they have.
You know, apparently (according tumblr), scientists have proven that humans' brains are linked to each other through neuron activities, so there's a chance that if you spend all day thinking of someone, they may just be thinking of you too.. It's a nice thought, yes? I have to stop abusing the word 'nice'.
I think I'm grateful. Yes. That is a good word- I'm grateful to a whole heap of people and yet, I'm still a terrible friend to pretty much everyone I know; except for maybe my brother because I am so gosh darn kind to him, although tonight he did offer to share his blanket with me, so we're almostnotreally even.

I want to fall in love, damnit. I want to want someone so much that they become my enoughness.

I want to be wanted.




Unfortunately, I'm not so hopelessly romantic that that sweet picture will satisfy me. Oh well. You know what they say- it'll all be fine in the end and if it's not fine, it's not the end. But does the end mean death? What?!