Hello blogspot.

I would like to go to sleep, but only so I can wake again soon. I have things to do and things to think and I would really like to be tired now so I can be less tired when my alarm goes off at in a few hours.

I wish I understood.

I unashamedly love the movie 'Remember Me'.
I miss my full fringe.
I don't understand love.
I eat more tofu than is healthy.
I like making up lives for strangers.
I exploit my slight claim to Indonesian heritage to seem interesting.
I read less than I think is vital for the soul.
I lack the ability to think logically; my sense isn't so common.
I often refuse people offering to drive me places.
I daydream at night.
I worry I can't do anything to help.
I don't care that I don't care about economics.
I spend too much time alone.
I have never been drunk.
I laze around suburban streets looking for a life I can enjoy.
I sometimes feel suffocated.
I tend to resent my middle class upbringing, which even I know is ridiculous.
I should be credited for how much over-analysing I do.
I pretend to enjoy things like art and fashion but really I just like pretty things.
I can become insecure around other people incredibly quickly.
I drink a lot of coffee.
I use a fair amount of dark eyeliner, as if to make myself more than I am.
I dislike hypocrisy.
I want to change the world, instead I sleep.
I probably won't be much different ten years from now on the inside.
I am terrified of being completely dependent on another human being.
I have purple hair ambition.
I know I should accept it just the way it is but I hate my body.
I think about myself far too often.

I Am That I Am.

these are some truths i think you shouldn't talk to me about later.

I almost went to bed
without remembering
the four white violets
I put in the button-hole
of your green sweater
and how I kissed you then
and you kissed me
shy as though I’d
never been your lover.

Leonard Cohen

I liked it when he smiled

Also, I would have liked this is if it were a group of facebook.



Is it not shamefully true? I'm awkward most all the time though, so I guess it doesn't make too much of a difference.

Sometimes I have to hold myself back

from saying things to people that I so want to say but can't for fear that I'll stuff up the relationship because I'll freak them out with how much I rely on them to keep me, well, me. I feel like I should just dive in and be completely open and honest, because I'm not talking along the lines of if you can't be nice, don't say anything at all thread, no, no, I just want people to know how much they mean to me. It's strange to think what kind of person I'd be if I hadn't become friends with the people I have, or even who I'd be if the relationships hadn't developed the ways they have.
You know, apparently (according tumblr), scientists have proven that humans' brains are linked to each other through neuron activities, so there's a chance that if you spend all day thinking of someone, they may just be thinking of you too.. It's a nice thought, yes? I have to stop abusing the word 'nice'.
I think I'm grateful. Yes. That is a good word- I'm grateful to a whole heap of people and yet, I'm still a terrible friend to pretty much everyone I know; except for maybe my brother because I am so gosh darn kind to him, although tonight he did offer to share his blanket with me, so we're almostnotreally even.

I want to fall in love, damnit. I want to want someone so much that they become my enoughness.

I want to be wanted.




Unfortunately, I'm not so hopelessly romantic that that sweet picture will satisfy me. Oh well. You know what they say- it'll all be fine in the end and if it's not fine, it's not the end. But does the end mean death? What?!

Ricky Gervais: “Why I’m an Atheist”

“As an atheist, I see nothing “wrong” in believing in a god. I don’t think there is a god, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me. It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a god. I would just rather you didn’t kill people who believe in a different god, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral. It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are.”

Amen.