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There's a great line from a Regina Spektor song- "Power to the people we don't want it we want pleasure and the TVs try to rape us and I guess that they're succeeding". It's actually a great song in general. Kind of anti-God, but brilliant all the same. In fact, I've decided to attach it. And now I can't find it. So while my computer is searching, (OH WAIT. Here comes Youtube.) let me tell you the relevance of such lyrical beauty. Trust me, it sounds so much better in my head; like all musical and that. I was going to watch TV but then decided I would stay away from such cultural rape and write a blog post instead.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xguB5tdGyS0 [click here for Regina Spektor]

I'm sitting here drinking energy drink, AKA poison, in an effort to stay light and happy.

I made a card yesterday, while my mother made a cake without a hole, despite my best efforts to encourage her to appreciate holiness. It is of my opinion that cakes are a tad more fun if they are holey because they're so hard to ice and then sprinkles go everywhere and anywhere, and you can use a spoon to round up all the icing making running for the hills, or the edge of the cake plate, to be more specific.

I made this card because I was cleaning my room and I found all this beautiful paper and ribbon and a jar of awesome blue glitter, so I decided to make a card for my best friend, mainly because she is the one most likely to appreciate my ahem creative spirit *cough*. I thought the end result was quite nice, except I have glitter all over and there is a ton of blue shimmery stuff in my bed. All the card said was 'Thankyou for all the years- dari (from)Jesse xxx' because we've been friends since year 3. I moved to St Bridgets when I was eight years old and terrified of people, and one lunchtime I was picking daisies by myself on the school oval and she came up and said hello. I remember kind of just staring at her blankly and then her leaving, but some time soon after that the teacher sat her down next to me in class (we had designated seats in rows of two down the classroom. Her designated seat buddy kept making all these racist comments because she is Chinese and I was the new mute weirdo so I had no seat buddy.) and we've been friends since. I actually think it would be very very hard to live without her. I'm just so used to running to her all the time to talk and she's so hilarious and OH DEAR LORD I'M CRYING. She isn't dead, or dying, by the way. I just reread it and it kind of sounds like preparation for her eulogy. So let me just assure you she is indeed very alive at this point. But yes. She's amazing and I just felt like I had to share that.

I just decided to make a list of stuff I currently love. Hope you don't mind.
- when everything adds up to a nice rounded number, especially at work when people buy a loaf of bread and a croissant: $2.80+$2.20=$5!
- flowers. specifically orange ones.
- remembering a happy/funny moment and smiling to yourself while other people look at you as if you're strange.
- my friends.
- pretty paper.
- not having to do any more speeches! Every year in English at my school, we have to give speeches in class about a given topic, and this year's one was to interpret the quote from Hamlet: 'Conscience doth make cowards of us all'. I think my speech was kind of off topic, but at least it's done! I have terrible issues with speaking too fast when it comes to speaking publicly in a persuasive manner. I'm just really glad it's over for this year.
- my grandmother. She can speak German and Indonesian fluently; she was paid only three quarters of what the men were paid when she was young and working as a teacher; she has really awesome clothes except of course she doesn't know it; she's a musical genius; she talks too fast, like me.
- ya mum jokes. I know, they're terrible. BUT THAT'S WHY THEY'RE SO HILARIOUS!
There should be more but I think it's time to move on.

Sylvia Plath was mental. I'd like to be mental, but in a less erm destructive way. That whole image of the misunderstood poet has kind of shaped her in my mind, and it's a shame that that's an extremely dillusional or ROMANTIC (if you will) take on reality. I like the idea of being individual and living for creativity. I'm reading this book called 'How to be Free', and it's about how to break free from anxiety and the stresses and pressures of modern day living. It offers ways to live a simple life. The author tells his own experiences and it's like every time I turn a page I'm like "That's totally me! That's what I'M like!" in that I feel anxiety is not a good thing at all, and organisation is just tidy mess. The book encourages you to take up a musical instrument, to produce more and buy less, and to do back to basics DIY style. As in, do things yourself. Don't pay others to do them for you- this is how they control you. Be selfish. Be your definition of amazing.

I'm off to go walk my dog and then study Japanese and then History and then maybe I'll think about looking at Maths. After that I shall clean my Indonesian exchange student's room then mine. I'd like to put some flowers in her room. What do you think? Nice to pretty things up a bit.

May you float through Thursday like the scent of the moon.

CIAO!

"Mad Girl's Love Song"- Sylvia Plath

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"